by Amanda Drum
Are you just a Stinson…or are you Matterhorn status? It’s true, I didn’t know the difference at first, myself. Not many people would turn down LV Matterhorn state-of-the-art plush slippers; only if the statement-making suit pajamas caught their eye first, perhaps. Still, I went digging for the fashionable entrepreneur’s background to learn how any self-respecting bachelor…or Halloween costume shopper…could ignore the tempting Armani nightclothes.
Evidently, before his “ballooning ambitions” and Unlimited Global corporation, Matterhorn—Lorenzo Von—endured rather meager and tragic upbringings. Only a child saved by destiny could survive the Alpine glacial runoff, whisked from his native Switzerland to Milan along the River Po in a basket! Before he uttered his first legen—wait for it—dary, his family rushed to New York, where he became the face of fashion and musical voice of a cocker spaniel brood.
You see, the difference in the two delightful bachelors is this: evening company catches a Barney Stinson in just their nightshirt. A Matterhorn never goes without their superior suitjamas. And who else but the industry leader in cute shoes could manufacture the perfect nighttime complement, the LV Matterhorn slippers? You can’t possibly think the silk suitjamas were meant for socks?
A Stinson also resorts to the last-minute Halloween costume: a suit they already own, or maybe one of their recycled pick-up ruses (did anyone think the Old Man Barney shtick would really work?). But a Matterhorn…a Matterhorn just runs the night IN their suitjamas. 364 days out of the year, only after-hours visitors understand their splendor; on October 31, everyone else can, too.
Lorenzo won’t be the only one saved with above-average sleepwear this Halloween. What up.